My Period Vol.035 - The feeling of stagnation in my body After a tough life as a working adult and changing jobs, I learned to "cherish myself" while studying abroad in Korea

Chisato, 31 years old, office worker

Menarche: 5th grade (age 10)

Current average period length: 4 days

Current average menstrual cycle: 28 days

Sanitary products currently used: Disposable napkins

-What day is your period?

A troublesome day

-What image comes to mind when you hear the word "menstruation"?

Tired

- From here on, I'd like to look back on half of my life, focusing on menstruation. When was your first period? How do you remember it?

It was when I was in the fifth grade of elementary school. Just before we went on a school trip, my mother gave me a thorough lecture on how to use sanitary napkins, saying, "In case he comes," and gave me a large amount of sanitary napkins before I left. I was worried, but in the end he didn't come once we got there, so my relief was short-lived. As soon as I got back, my period started. I remember thinking, "Whoa, I'm safe!" The blood from my first period was dark, and when I told my mother, she said, "That's your period," and that's when I realized it. At the time, I didn't feel any pain, it was just a strange sensation.

- Is there anything else you remember about your period in elementary school?

When I was in elementary school, I had a strong sense that "menstruation is something to be ashamed of." I didn't want anyone to know, so I would sneak an extra pad into my underwear and take it to the bathroom. I would find ways to hide it like that. I rarely talked about menstruation with my friends, and from sixth grade through junior high school, I couldn't shake the feeling that it was something to be kept secret.

- Did your period change when you were in middle school?

The amount of menstrual flow was light and there was almost no pain, so it didn't interfere with my daily life. However, I felt like my physical strength was reduced during my period, and sometimes I felt lethargic, like I was anemic, especially when exercising. My cycle has been stable since my first period and has never been irregular.

It was around this time that my friends and I started asking each other, "Do you have any sanitary napkins?", and little by little, an atmosphere of mutual support around menstruation began to develop.

- Did anything change during high school?

When I was in my second year of high school, my bleeding suddenly increased. Because I was not prone to pain, there were many times when I would leak and soil my bottoms and underwear.

One experience that sticks in my memory is when my period coincided with a family trip. After a long car ride, my mother noticed a red stain on my light blue pants, so she lent me her jacket and I quickly hid it. It was at this moment that I became aware once again that I had a heavy flow.

I continued playing badminton in high school, but because I was constantly moving around during club activities, I didn't feel like I was bleeding, and there were several times when I would go to the bathroom and realize, "Oh, I've wet myself again..."

Perhaps because my bleeding had increased, blood tests showed that I was anemic to the point that I was told not to exercise. I felt dizzy and pale during my period, and people around me were worried.

- What path did you take after graduating from high school? Did your period change?

After graduating from high school, I went on to university. I still had heavy periods and severe anemia. It was around this time that I started to experience period pain little by little. However, the impact on my daily life was limited, and I was able to attend school on time and work a part-time job.

My part-time jobs were on-site work at live music venues and as a receptionist at a sports gym. Working at a live music venue meant it was difficult to go to the bathroom, but I carefully calculated my cycle and scheduled my shifts so they wouldn't overlap with my period. My menstrual cycle was regular, so it was good that I could plan my schedule in advance taking my period into consideration. Being active often helped me to change my mood, so at that time I was thinking about how to manage my schedule rather than taking a break because my period was painful.

I've always been a napkin user when it comes to menstrual products. I once tried tampons after a friend recommended them to me, but I couldn't get them to fit properly, so I went back to using napkins, which I'm used to. I'm a lazy person, so I feel like "it's a hassle to deal with them" and "whatever suits me best is best."

- Please tell us about your career path after entering the workforce and about menstruation.

As a new graduate, I got a sales position at an entertainment company. The work was stimulating and I was blessed with good seniors, so I was fulfilled, but the nature of the job meant there were a lot of business dinners, and sometimes I would drink until late at night and come home in the morning. I had to shower and go straight to work, and this was a tough lifestyle that continued for a year or two.
My weight also increased by about 8 kg, and I felt like "my body was stagnating" and "it felt like nothing was filtering out."

Even with all that, my menstrual cycle wasn't disrupted. However, my period pain was getting heavier and heavier. I had pain in my lower back and stomach, headaches, and just an indescribable sense of discomfort... On top of that, because my period flow was heavy, when it was difficult to go to the bathroom, I would wear leggings over my underwear with a night pad layered on top, to hold it in place. Even in these situations, I remained somewhat optimistic, telling myself, "I'm fine because I'm not prone to sweating." Some of my colleagues were troubled by irregular or heavy periods, so I thought I was on the strong, lighter side.

-Changes in the environment and mind and body since leaving the entertainment industry

I quit the company I'd worked for as a new graduate after about four years and moved to the beauty industry. I was in sales for a brand that handled lifestyle products for women. I was excited about moving from a large company to a small one and entering a new industry, but I gradually began to feel overwhelmed. Because it was a small company, I had a lot to do, and because of that, I wanted to be helpful, so I took on a sense of responsibility on my own and spent my days blaming myself for not being able to do anything at all. The people at the company were all very nice, but I pushed myself too hard and ended up quitting soon after.

My second job change also didn't go as well as I had hoped.

Until then, I had hardly ever discussed my work with my family, but after I changed jobs, my parents asked me on a family trip, "Are you OK?" and I burst into tears, unable to stop the tears I had been holding back. I think they were worried when they saw the look on my face. Their concern, "You don't have to push yourself," really resonated with me.

After that, I went to a mental clinic and was diagnosed with "mild depression," so I decided to return to my parents' house and rest. I couldn't do anything for the first three months, and I don't remember much. I started taking walks and going to the hospital, and I gradually recovered.

As I recovered, I received an invitation from my boss at the company where I had worked since graduating from college, and I decided to return to my first company.

- Has anything changed since you started working in the entertainment industry again?

When I returned, I saw many familiar faces and felt relieved to have found a place where I belonged. However, this time I was faced with new types of worries, such as the responsibility of being treated as a mid-level employee and the heavy pressure of the work... I tried to propose ways to improve the organization in my own way, but sometimes my efforts were in vain, and after thinking about my future, I finally decided to quit and go to study in Korea, a country I had long been interested in.

- How was life in Korea? Did your period change?

I had previously stayed in Korea for a month, but this was my first time living abroad. Driven by my desire to master the language and communicate freely in Korean, I spent a total of about two years in Seoul, including nine months at a language school and one year on a working holiday. Korean society is a culture that is very assertive, so I was a little hesitant at first, but I learned to clearly express my opinions and also got the experience of working for a local company, so I had a wonderful time there.

I started taking the pill in Korea and it made a big difference to my period. I had tried low-dose birth control pills in Japan before, but gave up because of the side effects. However, in Korea, ultra-low-dose birth control pills are readily available at pharmacies without a prescription, and with the recommendation of a local friend, I tried them again. This time, I had no side effects, my period pain was almost gone, my menstrual flow was lighter, and my cycle became more regular, making it much easier.

However, when it comes to sanitary products, I always find Japanese products more comfortable to use, so I packed them in my suitcase every time I returned to Japan.

- What have you been doing since you returned to Japan?

Since returning to Japan, I have been helping out at my father's company while taking the time to carefully reconsider my future goals and what I want to do. I have become fluent in Korean, so I hope to be able to use it in my work.

-Looking back on your period, what do you think now?

There was a time when my period pain and discomfort worsened due to changes in my environment and a lack of self-care. Looking back, I feel that "putting myself on the back burner" was a major factor. After living in Korea, I realized the importance of taking care of my body and my emotions. I now see my period as a barometer of this, and an indicator that helps protect me.

Note: "My Period" aims to provide an opportunity to think about and talk about menstruation, an issue that is often hidden, by recording and sharing how people of various generations and backgrounds have dealt with it. It does not endorse any specific products, services, or methods of coping. The content posted is based on each person's personal experience, so if you have any symptoms that concern you, please consult a medical institution.